Yesterday was my first day of college. It was definitely one of my most nerve-wracking experiences to date, but after a few hours, and a few classes, I really started to feel like I was going to be fine. All summer all I could do was worry and panic about going to college all because it was all going to be different from high school.
I was about to enter into a world where everyone and everything was supposed to be older, wiser, and tougher, yet I still felt too young, too dumb, and too weak for such a place. I mean I still look like I’m twelve years old despite turning 18 in November! It’s just one of those things that impacts how you perceive yourself.
All my life I felt like a kid. No one ever treated me as anything else but a kid. I never saw myself actually being treated like an adult, until I stepped through the doors of my first class and was told that to succeed, it was up to me and that no one was going to berate me to try harder to reach it. This was a huge change for me. In high school and even at home, my parents and teachers would be on my case to do better and strive for success because they knew my potential, but now in college, the professors know that I am not the only one with potential, so it is up to me to show them that I not only have it but I am willing to use it to get to the top.
And that is what makes me feel like I am older. It’s a trust that they put in me to put into myself. They are allowing me to make the right decisions and choose and even pave my own path to success instead of showing me which roads to take to get their. They are being road signs instead of the GPS that my parents and teachers were in high school. To be an adult, you have to be allowed to make your own mistakes and learn from them on your own. That doesn’t mean I can’t look upon a map to help get back on my path, but it does mean not relying on it to save me every time.
I still feel nervous about being in college. It’s still a big scary place, but the longer I am there, the easier I’m going to feel about it. All I need is the moral support of my family and friends to get through my first semester in one piece.